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The Ego: Exemplified by I, Me, and Mine
Winter 2000
Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim.
In the Name of Allah Most Merciful, Most Compassionate.

Asalaamu Aleikum and May Peace Be Upon You.

     Among the many ongoing prayers of the Sufi practitioner to God/Allah are those that seek vigilant constancy for returning to the unencumbered state (hal) of Divine Remembrance (dhikrullah). Constancy (sabr) and certainty (yaqin) in Divine Remembrance leads to the realization (marifah) of Allah's Divine and Ineffable Unity (haqqi wal tawheed). The constant and unencumbered Remembrance of Allah's Unity, therefore, is the true Station of Peace (maqam as-salaam). This type of peace is realized by the sublimation of one's individual will into the greater will of Allah which is characterized by God's design, plan and divine architecture. This vision of Unity (tawhiid shuhudi) causes one to submit to Divine Service or Slavery ('abd ulLah).
Furthermore, the Sufi goes on to pray to Allah for protection from the separation (shaitan) of one's self from God's Presence and protection from the worship or adoration of one's small self (nafs). "Ya Allah, we are Your servants. Return us to Your Unity unencumbered by our small wills. May we be empty vessels for Your Divine Will. Deliver us to Your Peace. Protect us from self-worship and from being lead astray by ignorance or by any separation from You."
     Self-worship of one's individual is characterized by three idols: I, Me and Mine. These three idols make up the trinity of one's ego preoccupation. I. Me. Mine. I want, I have, I like, I dislike, I know, I do, I deserve. Me. What about me? What about me? What about me? And mine. That's mine! That's not mine!
     These three idols collectively known as "ego" have such a strong hold on a person that they are willing to and will destroy the practitioner in order to justify and have their way. Particularly in the face of death (change), the ego wants to be right. The separation, chaos and confusion that these idols create in battling for the ego's position seemingly never stops. These idols will go to any length to protect their existence. The ego, exemplified by I, Me and Mine, battles to control your attitudes, impressions and thinking. The ego, in its trinity, wants to turn you away from Allah (Unity) and turn you towards itself (separation and shirk - associating partners with God).
     Even as we loudly proclaim, "Yes! The supreme station, the highest level of spiritual realization is to surrender into God's flow, to be an unconditional servant for God's will, to be a steward and a vehicle for God's design," in the background the ego, through self-worship, battles and argues for what it wants. There is a marked difference in most people between the spiritual calling of their Higher Self and what the idols of self-worship demand. If we are not disciplined, well trained, among good company, rightly guided, refined in our vision and thinking and purified in character, the idols take over.
     The idols would just as soon kill the practitioner who is claiming that he or she desires the Higher Self in order to have what they want. They will go to any end to protect their interests. Why will they do this? How do they get away with it? The ego idols take over control when the practitioner has forgotten his or her true and original identity as well as his or her proper position in relationship to God.
     The ego is able to have this great influence over the seeker, because the practitioner has been blinded, has become ignorant and forgetful, in the face of all of the impressions of the world. The individual person has gone to sleep and has forgotten who is the True Person. The individual gets lost thinking that the Self is the folly of the three idols of the ego. The individual person actually thinks that the "I" has an interest, that "Me" is important and that created things are "Mine." This is false identification. There is a difference between the Original Essential Self and the misidentification of the small personal self as it attaches to the world of circumstances and phenomena. The consequences of this contradiction also include the loss of purpose. No wonder when situations come along that challenge the idols of I, Me and Mine, the ego is ready to defend those gods. The ego feels under attack and believes its allegiance, alignment and identity is located in the existence of the three "gods."
     The degree of tension that exists between the voice of our Higher Self, the Divine calling of God within us, and the folly of the ego through I, Me and Mine, is the amount of suffering contained in an individual person. The people in this world who have long-term, enduring and resolute peace, who exhibit the qualities of acceptance, patience and compassion, have a much smaller degree of tension between the two sides of themselves. The people who have the greatest degree of tension in their lives are the ones who fight desperately for the existence and the "rights" of their ego, thinking that they have something to lose if the structure of their lives were to be challenged or changed. So, let us take a look at our false concept of loss.
     In Sufi life, we praise and invoke God/Allah as the Lord of all worlds, the Lord of the Universe (alhamdu lillahi Rabbil 'alamin). From the language of al-Qur`an, we are reminded that Allah is the Awwal (before) as well as the Akhir (after). This is likened to the biblical "Alpha and Omega" teaching of the noble Prophet Jesus (a.s.). Within Allah is the created source of all things as well as unto Allah is the destination and reconciliation of all things. This indicates to us that Allah is the Supreme Reality. In other words, we might say that it is Allah who is the Supreme Subject. Therefore, all of the created realms, worlds and manifestations including ourselves are Allah's objects. If we truly believe that all praises (hamd) are due and belong to God/Allah, because Allah is the Sovereign Ruler, Ever-present, Self-subsistent, Ineffable Truth that is Absolute, Eternal and Without End, then whatever is Allah is the Real and unarguable Subject of everything. That (Allah) is the True Identity, the Central Focus. That is the axis around which everything revolves, and we as created beings are only the created expression or manifested objects of that Allah.
     However, in giving our ego "first licks," we make ourselves the subject and revert Allah into being the object. There is a subtle yet profound arrogance in calling Allah the "object of our adoration and worship." When we objectify God, while forgetting that Allah is the Supreme Subject, we have attempted to force Reality to conform to the reference of ourselves as individual egos. This attitude presupposes that we could "accomplish" Allah, so long as God/Allah fits our personal definition, and as an object is both pleased or pleases ourselves as the subject. In other words, the ego has made itself the subject and Allah the object, rather than living into the actual Reality that Allah is the Subject and the person is merely one of Allah's objects.
     If I were to explain the concept in modern terminology, I could introduce the word "paradigm." I am defining That which is Allah as the overarching, subjective paradigm of all Reality transcending time, space, person, circumstance and any phenomenal or manifest attributes of relativity. Allah is primordial, preexistent, ever present, eternal, without end, imbued within the creation as well as standing separate from it. Allah is the paradigm. We are within Allah and dependent entirely upon That, though Allah still remains different from us and is entirely independent as Unity (tawheed).
     So often on the path, we are afraid of "losing ourselves" or having to "give up something," which is really only our world-view (opinions, preferences, job, friends, partners and lovers. money, age, body and health, personal recognition, residency. etc.).
     Yet our personal paradigms, as upheld by the idols of the ego, exist only by the Grace extended to them in 'permission' (idhn) from the Supreme Paradigm - Allah. You could say that you have even been given the permission to rebel, through the use of your own freewill, against that which you know is Truth, but resist adhering to or returning to It. The human being has nothing to lose other than the fear that the human being has something to lose. Creation, in the form of the human being literally does not possess or own a thing. The ego idols of I, Me and Mine, through false identification, create conflict and tension within us over control and ownership issues. We forget who we are; we fear that we have something to lose; and we lay ourselves down in front of those idols to protect us.
     What is the most important? What is the highest priority? What is utmost and most essential in this life? The spiritual aspirant will say, "God!" of course. Then it is incumbent upon the seeker to align every thought, word and deed to That which we have proclaimed most important.
     Until such time that we surrender ourselves entirely to Allah and allow Allah to fill and move through us entirely (fana` wa baqa`), we will battle with ego tensions, conditioned attachments and the machinations of the false self. We will even justify this battle on the ego idols behalf as being true, noble and real, because like I said, self-worship will go to any end to preserve itself - to get what it wants and to be right. It will lead the spiritual seeker astray. It will lead the practitioner to a different destination, one other than intended, and the practitioner wakes up one day and wonders, "I thought I bought a ticket to Chicago. How did I end up in New Orleans?" And, as in this example, the traveler has gone in the opposite direction. Therefore, the Sufi cries out in prayer from the depths of the Heart, "Allah return me to Divine Remembrance, to your Unity. Brings me unto the Station of Peace (as Salaam). Allow me unconditional surrender and submission to the architecture of Your Divine Will. Protect me from the falsehood of self-worship, the ego and separation from You in the idol forms of I, Me and Mine (shaitan). Let me reside in the eternal remembrance of You. All that I think, do and say is dedicated, committed and belongs to You. I am your servant, and You are my Master."
     In this way, the spiritual aspirants eliminate folly, drama, conflict, confusion and separation from their lives. The aspirants protect their Self from self-worship. The worshippers have consciously and systematically moved the personal rhythm of their individual lives toward and into the direction and action of the Supreme Life. When one is aligned as such, one is stable, calm, confident and secure in one's direction.
     Remember, the deepest part of the ocean has no confusion as to where to go, how to move or what direction to flow. It is only the waves on the surface that are battered and constantly changed by the conditions of the wind and weather.
     Let us all move together more fervently with greater sincerity. Let us be like our great-grandfather, the Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham), who smashed the idols in his efforts to realize the absolute Truth. Let us turn away from the idols of the small self (I, Me and Mine) and turn towards the True Subject. Let us render our falsehoods for what is Real. And then . . . let us serve.