We are endlessly riding the waves between pleasure and pain, and the holidays often seem to intensify the ride. As we come up against some of our most fixed expectations, we suffer. In this spiritual lesson, Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi teaches us how to transcend the fruitless process of pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain. He points to what lies beneath the waves - the true joy which is the ongoing communion with the Heart.

Often during peak holiday times in the western world (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, etc.), people's feelings and emotions become exceptionally exaggerated. We intensify and increase the amount of pleasure that we seek - the idea of family and friends getting together, cooking, eating and partying. Simultaneously, we experience an exaggerated sense of pain or loss as we seek to avoid the issues and people that cause us pain - the idea of being alone, feeling rejected or being abandoned. This teeter-totter in the emotional character of society is palpable and measurable around this time of year, every year. Not only at the holidays, however, are the symptoms of increasing alienation growing and becoming more exaggerated: higher peaks, lower valleys, higher peaks, lower valleys. The holidays act as an amplifier for these dualistic feelings within us.

As we have gone through the changing leaves of fall, autumn makes ready for winter. Even Mother Nature is going through a major transformation at this time. What was once the spring turned to summer. Summer turned to autumn. The warm weather once offered us opportunities and pleasures that are no longer with us in the cold weather. We can feel our natural environment dramatically and radically change. Nature is full of the peaks and valleys of pleasure and pain.

Most families have a rough mix through the changing seasons of the holidays. There is a lot of pressure and built up expectations as families attempt to get together. This is supposed to be the paramount time of the year when everybody comes together to celebrate. However, too often the expectation of "getting along" brings together strange varieties of fragrances and flavors that, when transmitted into the same space, create a neurotic sort of magic. Inevitably, everybody gets stirred up, "Haven't felt this way since a wedding . . . or a funeral. But it's supposed to be Christmas!" The big bang comes at the end of the year which is New Year's Eve. Starting the first week of the year, the pressure mounts to resume our life and activities as business as usual. This comes only after incurring a new set of resolutions that we are going to live our lives differently by totally changing ourselves in one fell swoop. A lot happens this time of year. So I thought it would be good to discuss our favorite subject, because this is what everyone is really preoccupied with - the pursuit of happiness and the avoidance of pain - the differing qualities of vibration (waves) that take place within a particular environment or space we affectionately call, "vibes." Vibes change according to time, place and person.

We are sensitive to and are fond of talking about vibes. There is a purpose for bringing up "vibes." It is to highlight the point that we all have the direct experience, that in essence whether it be psychic, emotional or material, everything around us in reality is emanating a wave. Constantly, waves are being broadcast. It is our experience that through our material senses (sight, sound, smell, taste and touch), as well as the intuitional sense, which cannot be measured, we receive/perceive the waves. We interpret them, and depending upon our particular interpretation of these waves, our feelings and our actions follow suit. We also know that we can very easily have different perceptions and, therefore, different responses to a common event or circumstance, or completely different reactions to a particular place or person. In other words, people do not all "see" things in the same way. All people do not respond alike. People have differing likes and dislikes.

There is a famous spiritual proverb about the three blind men who meet an elephant. One grabs the tail, one grabs the leg and one grabs the trunk; and although they have met the same creature, each has an entirely different description of the elephant based upon how it was perceived. If only their eyes could be opened, they might see that the elephant is something in its totality and not one of the parts that they're merely holding onto. Our response to the environment, our response to the time, place and person that we have in front of us circumstantially is largely interpreted in the same way. To the degree that our faculties can perceive something in front of us, we interpret the wave.

What do we interpret the waves against? What is our reference, our reflecting surface? What is it that the wave reflects off of inside of us that allows us to have an interpretation?

It is said that through the individual soul, each of us is "connected" as part and parcel of the Supreme Soul as the manifest Essence of the Reality of God/Allah. Nonetheless, our "soulfulness," our personal hearts and personal essence, lie dormantly covered and layered by individual experiences and impressions which inhibit the view of the pure, internal reflecting surface. Our senses and judgments are altered as we rely on our limited and particular points of view, i.e., gender, nationality, age, language, culture, family, personal life experiences and others. So even though my eyes, ears, nose, mouth and arms may be "open," as I receive the information (waves) from the relative (changing) environment around me, it is reflected against an internal surface that is relative as it is refracted through the layers of my personal outlook and conditioning. In other words, even in seeking the Truth, I simply do not have straight information to make a straight interpretation. I have biased information. We are not necessarily judging this bias as good or bad; we're just saying that the bias exists. In the same way, the bias of separation exists. We experience each other as separate individuals even though our spiritual philosophy teaches that by being part and parcel of God, we are One! Why then do we experience ourselves coalescing as separate?

As we interpret our world, our environment, through the filters of our different layers of karmic conditioning, we find that some of our interpretations are pleasing, and some of our interpretations are displeasing. Therefore, some bring pleasure, others bring pain. Why is something pleasurable or painful to us? Circumstances are pleasing or displeasing depending upon the fluidity and the smoothness with which the interpretation can resonate through the layers of my inner personality.

In the Ananda Sutrum, Baba Anandamurti's seminal spiritual scripture, there is a verse that says, Anakula vidaniyam' sukam, happiness, pleasure, is a congenial mental feeling. We normally do not think of happiness in that way. We're so attached to our pursuit of pleasure and so intoxicatingly distracted with even a little bit of it, we forget exactly what "it" is. Pleasure being congenial to what? It is congenial to the outlook of my interpretation.

In other words, each one of us inherently has a certain rhythm. If one's inherent rhythm comes into contact with another's that vibrates sympathetically in harmony, the collective rhythm will not be agitated. It will be smooth, fluid. This "parallelism" in vibrations will be experienced as pleasurable, because it is without dissonance or disharmony with the personal vibration or rhythm. Likewise, you can say the converse would be true. The opposite of the verse might read, Pratakula vidaniyam' dukam, pain, displeasure, is an uncongenial mental feeling. Pain is a state where clash is created, where the perception or the interpretation of the external wave is not in harmony with the internal inherent rhythm.

Reality is eternally emanating waves from its manifested creation. Given the nature of a wave, there are going to be ups and downs. Up and down, and up and down, etc. When the wave is "up," or through interpretation we experience that it is in sync with our own wave, we identify it as pleasure. What do we do at that point? Because we are so firmly identified with our conditioning, most of us will try to hold onto that moment of pleasure for just as long as we can. We'll try to stretch it out. However long we can stretch the pleasure, we call that period "happiness." If someone comes along during that time and asks, "How are you doing?" we answer, "Oh, I'm great. I'm happy."

How long have you been happy? How long have you been able to milk that end of the wave? A day? A week? A month? Three months? One year? How ever long you are able to use your willpower to suspend or cease the movement of the wave forward, at that point, you call it "happiness." Do you understand what I am saying? We actually use our willpower to suspend the wave from continuing. In this way, we constantly seek pleasure.

Likewise, at the bottom of the wave, when the wave is "down," or through interpretation we experience it as dissonant against our own personal wave, we identify it as pain. We call it pain because of the clash. Contrary to pursuing pleasure, we seek to avoid pain. So we go in the other direction. We use our willpower to condense that part of the wave to as small a time period as possible, and we call that time period "unhappy." When asked, "How are you doing today?" we now answer, "Not so good. Things aren't going right." How long has that been going on? A day, a week, a month, a year, three years? See . . . the same thing, the same mechanism.

Most human pursuits, whether pursuing pleasure or avoiding pain, are the ongoing juggling of these two experiences. They amount to the willful attempt to expand pleasure and the willful attempt to condense pain. Yet, the waves continue. In reality nothing is static. Nothing stays fixed for an indefinite period of time. There is going to be change. As it has already been said, "Change is the only thing that remains constant." This is where the practice of spirituality comes into play. The spiritual process teaches us that there is a way by which we can transcend the fruitless process of pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain. Now, that's good news! It is even better news when we start to experience it directly ourselves. But until such time as we experience this realization personally, it is more than helpful for us to keep the company of those who have and can demonstrate it. It is a must.

The reason that spirituality is "good news" is because it underlies the hope that there is a way to become liberated from the cycles of suffering - the proverbial dog chasing its tail. Each one of us, through our desire to be loved unconditionally, carries an infinite longing for limitlessness love. We all have that down pat. If one has an infinite longing that is always wanting, and since pleasure and pain are always changing, it's obvious that neither pleasure nor pain is going to fulfill the space of infinite longing. How long can the pleasure last? Only as long as I can keep it going. How short does the pain last? Only as short as I can minimize it. Neither of these two conditions can satisfy something that's infinitely longing. So how are we going to really be "happy?"

The same Ananda Sutram says, Sukam' anantam' anandam, true happiness is "ananda." Ananda can be literally translated as either "joy or bliss." When we think of bliss, most often we think of being "blissed out." The state of being blissed-out is actually just an overload on the senses. Blissed-out feels nice and is associated with a lot of pleasure, but true "bliss" is not located in being blissed-out. Blissed-out is a sensational feeling. I hate to use the word "bliss" most times because it conjures up a spaced-out, kind of out-of-touch or pie-in-the-sky attitude. Maybe a better translation, and properly so, would be that "ananda" is "joy." Joy is a state that is beyond, and more profound, than either pleasure or pain or happiness or sadness.

What is joy? The scriptural verse continues, Ananda brahma ityahu, joy (bliss) is in reality Brahma (God). Joy is God. There is no difference. The Sufis call this joy, "Salaam," or "complete peace" in Arabic. The spiritual practice prescribes the lifestyle, the attitude, the technique and the science for one to begin to disassociate from the attachments to the motions of the up and down parts of the wave. I learn to detach while realizing that my personal attachments are limited to my personal interpretation, which is limited. And the waves just keep on coming.

Where does the wave come from? Where does it go to beyond my interpretation? Our spiritual understanding reminds us that the first emanation of this wave is with God, as well as the last emanation of this wave is with God. Therefore, the fulfillment of our infinite desire to be happy has to be with God/Allah. Only if we allow ourselves to become fixed on that which is infinite, permanent and absolute, rather than that which is changing in the form of the waves, can we become joyful. The spiritual process is the aligning of our longing with the object and fulfillment of its desire, which is God. Infinitely God is longing for God. Allah seeks union with Allah.

In order for God/Allah to be fulfilled by God/Allah, God is temporarily diversified into these small forms for the purpose of, " . . . being known," according to a traditional saying of the Prophet Muhammad (saws). Humanity is distracted by the free will's attachment to pleasure and pain until it becomes tired of the ping-pong effect between these two positions. We are driven to internalize our spiritual practice to find out what is the source that lies beneath the layers of our individual interpretation. This can be visualized or likened to the ocean and its waves.

I have given this example before. When looking at the ocean, you will see upon its surface many different shapes and forms depending upon the weather, the climate and the other external factors affecting the ocean's movement. Sometimes there are swells; sometimes it is still. Sometimes there are ripples; sometimes it's smooth. Sometimes it's foamy; sometimes it's bubbly. The wind is a wave, and it in turn creates waves on the water. The weather is a wave imposing itself upon the surface of the ocean. The forms of the water's waves change as they come into contact with the elements.

I remember once standing on the north shore of Oahu, Hawaii, which has some of the largest surf in the world. They call it the "Bonzai Pipeline." I watched the ocean literally come up and form a wall of 30 or 40 feet. Now that's a wave! I had the experience of standing on the beach, watching and thinking, "Wow! Look at that wave," and then that wave would crash onto the beach and the undertow would pull it back into the sea. It would dissolve back into what? Back into the ocean. So if one is attached to that wave and thinks that the form of that wave is the ocean, all one has to do is wait and see with certain disappointment the dissolving of their attachment, because that wave will crash and dissipate. It will be withdrawn back into the source from whence it came, and another wave is coming.

How do we pursue Ananda or Brahma, God or Allah? We start by stilling the heated and passionate desires and attachments that we have to the waves. We go deep beneath the surface, underneath our desires or in this case underneath the waves, into that which is pure ocean. The ocean is the ocean is the ocean regardless of waves. The waves are the reflected manifestations of that ocean taking temporary form. The experiences of pleasure and pain are relegated temporarily into the forms of the various waves and affect us only to the level of our attachment to those waves which are impermanent. Remember, Brahma eva kevalam - God alone is all (Sanskrit). La ilaha illa Llah - There is no God, but Allah (Arabic).

What does it mean to be one pointed? Through the power of intention, which is the ability to direct our attention, it means to have one's mind and one's heart totally affixed to that One infinite supreme wave - the Heart, Spirit, God. When we bring ourselves into parallelism, sympathetic resonance with that Wave, then we will no longer get distracted by the individual waves and vibrations of our own ups and downs. We begin to move through this world the way the Prophet Jesus (as) taught, " . . . in the world but not of it." I am here, but I am not lost in it. I have attuned my personal frequency with the Divine Frequency, the Big Wave, not the frequency of my independent, individual, willful interpretations, but the overarching frequency of the collective, willing movement of the entire cosmos.

This requires a letting go of many personal expectations. It doesn't mean that we do not have order in our lives, or that we totally forgo planning. However, it does mean that I surrender my individual, independent interpretation to become sympathetically vibrating with the overall direction of the universal wave. How could I be "unhappy" or "happy" at that point?

In our personal spiritual practice, we work on the tuning process. Each one of us is like a receiver, a special kind of receiver. As we are receiving, we're also trying to let go of our individual interpretations so that we can come into harmony with God/ Allah. We do this through our prayer, dhikr (divine remembrance) and kiirtan (chanting the names of God). We also attune ourselves through our devotional service to the Spiritual Guide and to the Community. Each one of these three things: 1) meditation, which is strictly the internal practice of resonating our minds and hearts, 2) dhikr and kiirtan, which are internal/external practices; and 3) guru seva, which is an external practice, allows us to let go of our individual interpretations. These are devices by which we affix ourselves to the long term, the One. We have internal, internal/external and practices. Guru seva is devotional service to the Spiritual Guide. Now we have an arena in which to do the tuning process. We have a place to practice. We have a method of practice.

When we suffer the most, particularly around this time of year, is when we find ourselves coming into clash with our most fixed expectations, i.e., how it was supposed to be in my family, and it wasn't; how I'd like it to be, but it isn't; what my fantasy is, only to realize that fantasies are shattered. There is the wanting to recreate for myself a completely new reality, like instant New Year's resolutions, only within the second or third week of the new year to be face to face with old patterns once again. They didn't go away.

In concert with Grace, the tuning process is a series of adjustments that are accomplished in part by the use of our free will. Spiritual discipline. What is discipline? Nothing other than honoring your own intention. Are you going to make a New Year's resolution? Then you've made your intention. What's discipline? Honoring your intention. It is not very mysterious. Our discipline can be thought of as, "Remembering what it is that you really want." Our free will should be properly guided, not for the purpose of seeking pleasure nor avoiding pain, but to really remove the boxed-in, individual and idiosyncratic interpretations that are used to live life. We must get underneath the waves and into the ocean so that we might reside in the stance of infinite fulfillment, "Ananda" or "Salaam," which is in reality what we are seeking - the source and endpoint of the wave itself. Joy!

True joy comes when it is naturally and spontaneously experienced as ongoing communion with the Heart. That is what God realization is about. It is natural and it's spontaneous. It has no fences, bridges, buildings or bricks around it. It has no materially set path. It's spontaneous, and it's never ending. God realization is not located in any geographical place or social observance. Sufism and yoga are the sciences of transcending any attachments to limitations or fixed positions.

We can say that our New Year started with Thanksgiving. Let us redouble our efforts to do our spiritual work. Let us encourage each other in the Community and in our spiritual company to release, to let go of the differences and separations that bind us. Let us pray that we can forgo the limitations of our individual and selfish interpretations so that we might have our eyes opened, our noses opened, our mouths opened, our ears opened, our arms opened and our intuition truly opened to know the difference between the changing and the unchanging, the moving and the non-moving, and affix ourselves to the Infinite One. Then we will be filled with joy.

As-salaamu `alaykum.