WHAT KIDS REALLY WANT
Healing Children through Healing Parents
Understanding the Primary Mission Theory
Rediscovering the Importance of Parents
A New Light on Personal and Surrogate Healing
Explaining Illness, Anxiety and Hatred as Manifestations of Love
:According to a national study of over a thousand children, interviewers gave children one wish to make for a change in their parents. Their parents were then asked to guess what their child wished for. More than half of parents guessed it was for more quality time together. It was the wrong answer. Most of the children wished for their parents to be free of stress. " (Link)
Parents! Have you Lost Touch with Your Kids? Learn what your kids really want from you and how to give it to them. Understand What's Really Going On!
Children are bonded to their parents in a way much more than the parents know and understand. That's why the Sufis say that the children are the secrets of their parents.
What kids want more than anything is for their Parents to Be Well, (often translated as "cool"), but parents are exploiting this bond ("I'm well when you're Good", "You make me sick") rather than recognizing it.
Don't deny it! Because until you learn to recognize this common fault and error, you cannot heal it.
"Every good parent wants their children to be happy. Every good parent also wants to empower their child to excel. The most effective thing a parent can do in achieving both is to teach kids to transcend stress by making the shift themselves." (Link)
Learn to own your fear: We cannot change what we do not own.
Argue with me all you want.
I'm sure you will, and your kids might too, because they are by now as convinced as you about your values in life, but maybe not. And since their mission has by now transformed from healing (they're always trying to be a source of love and happiness for you, haven't you noticed?) - which they may have given up on so long ago that it's not even a consideration any more - to serving (pleasing or displeasing, as the case may be), their attitude toward establishing a genuine rapport with you could now be simply "Forget it, it's never gonna happen."
But maybe not!
And it doesn't matter what they think, 'cause everything changes. But it is more than highly likely that they themselves would love you to practice even a little bit of what you preach, so here's how to do it and it will make them happy (and you).
All is not lost! Start now! Learn how to support your kids properly and to teach them - and exemplify your teaching - what is truly of value in life. It's way easier than you think.
Parents are so selfish. All they ever think about is themselves and what's wrong with their kids. They're so focused on wanting their kids to be perfect, or happy, or well adjusted (to what, may I ask?), and all this so that they can feel relieved and that they are doing a 'good' job of parenting and have model kids and have pride and good standing in some community. They want their kids to be happy but not for the kids' sakes but for their own. And THAT will never happen.
Until parents learn what's really going on with kids (and themselves), they'll never be happy with them until their kids are picture perfect outwardly and totally repressed inwardly. Just like they want to be.
But it manifestly does not work that way. Isn't it obvious? Never in the course of history has there been so much crime and disease.
All of it is the expression of YOUR own soul wishing to be free (of you).
It can be done! But not through repression of expression and behavior control or modification.
Parents must learn to be Really brave and unafraid, and that's not easy in today's society. But it can be done and the reward far outweighs the pain.
It's much easier than you think. But it's still not easy. It means that YOU must face Your Fears, BEFORE asking your children to face them.
Can YOU do that? If not, how can you expect your children to?
Your True Self is not "bad", it's actually quite happy. But if your kids are unhappy, it's definitely because Your True Self is repressed! Can you get that through your head after all your years of upbringing in an environment that has taught the perfection of self repression for the sake of conformity and survival?